


Wildest Dreams

by CaptainErica



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Sad Ending, jily, t swift inspired, wildest dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 01:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12948117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainErica/pseuds/CaptainErica
Summary: Friends are the family we choose.





	Wildest Dreams

When Lily turned 17, a cold winter’s day, the grounds of Hogwarts covered in a thick layer of snow and the threat of war on the horizon and all around them feeling distant in comparison to most days recently, she didn’t get a card from her family. She hadn’t expected one from her sister, so she’s really not surprised but... It would have been nice.

She did, however, receive 16 paper cards from different students she had tutored, a large and frighteningly metallic card from her fellow prefects, 43 chocolate frogs, 2 sugar quills, 1 cake (she won’t touch it, it’s from Sirius and no matter what Marlene says, she will never believe that it _isn’t_ from Sirius), a large assortment of balloons, and now…

Now James Potter is grinning at her, his hair a windswept mess despite him definitely not having been outside yet today (it being barely 10am and all), and he’s holding out his hand. “Well? Come on, Evans, what do you say? Let’s get out of here. Go down to Hogsmeade and celebrate properly.”

“With _you?_ ” She asks, laughing just a little and raising an eyebrow, arms crossed over her chest and she’s definitely considering it. Considering it despite having spent a long time trying to ignore him and his adorable….

James rolls his eyes, but his smile doesn’t falter, and neither does his eager confidence. “Come on, just for the day, you know it’ll be fun.” He says, and she can’t deny that, because…

Because James Potter is handsome, and tall, and _Merlin_ but is he everything swoon-worthy that she has ever thought of wrapped up into one cocky package. “Oh, alright then.” She says, giving in, dropping a hand into his outstretched one. The look in his eyes makes her feel light and like she’s the only person in the world who can make him as happy as she just did.

James is a whirlwind, he’s so much energy, barely contained by the way he seems to think he needs to act _cool._ He drags her to Hogsmeade, laughing loud, telling her stories and making outrageous claims and boasts. He’s embarrassing to be around, but also exhilarating, and she will admit with next to no prodding that she’s never had more fun out with just one person in all her life. She’s never been more comfortable, free-feeling, and…

“Surprised you, huh?” Marlene says, hopping up beside Lily and throwing her arms around her shoulders, pressing close. “Nice venue, yeah? Sirius has an in with Madam Rosmerta, you know.” She says, grinning, bright, and Lily laughs, shaking her head.

“I’m sure Sirius _thinks_ he does, he’s a right little charmer.” Lily says, laughing still, and she can’t believe that this is her life now, this is where she is. If you’d asked her just a year ago if she would agree to take James Potter’s hand and trust him to lead her somewhere that wouldn’t end in some kind of embarrassment for _someone_ she would have resolutely said no.

 _She had been so young then, so young just 3 years previous, and here she is, melancholy and_ old _at half-way to her 20 th birthday. She’d told Remus the night before, her eyes misty, heart battered, that she hoped James still saw that girl when he looked at her, still saw her sundresses and bright hair, still saw her up-turned nose and worry-free eyes. Remus told her that there’d always been worry in her eyes, that she still looked the same, and that James would never _not _see her as the woman he’d fallen in love with._

Lily takes James with her to meet Petunia’s fiancé, and she knows she probably shouldn’t, them being so new with each other, still only _barely_ dating. But it was better than meeting him alone, better than ignoring the potential reconciliation and staying, alone, in her parents’ empty home…

It’s an unquestionable disaster; Petunia’s fiancé is rude, mean, and very boastful. It hurts Lily to see her older sister, her oldest friend, with someone so clearly closed-minded and terrible. It reminds her of Severus, of the strange and backward way he had always seen things, that kind of singular world-view that is so, so detrimental to one’s happiness and the happiness of those around them.

She bursts into tears the second her sister leaves and _merlin_ but James should leave her now; she’s a horrible mess, barely fit to have friends let alone true relationships, clearly. But James _doesn’t_ leave her, he stays despite being slightly panicked. He’s worried, promises her anything, apologizes for his own behavior and… and that’s the kind of sincerity that she loves about him. James is handsome, and loud, and smart, and brash… but he’s kind. He knows when he’s done wrong, and his apology is sincere, not self-serving.

“No, no I- he’s truly _awful_ though, isn’t he?” Lily asks as the tears slowly calm. “Vernon, I mean.”

James laughs, soft as he nods. “He’s a right piece of work, really. Where’d your sister dredge him up?” He asks, his tone lightly teasing. He’s got a hand lightly touching one of hers, and the other is poised on the table like he’s not sure if he’ll need to use it. She chuckles, wet, throaty, part from what James had said and part because she can’t stop herself; he’s too perfect.

 _She tells Sirius quietly while Peter is holding Harry that she still can’t believe this is her life. He gives her one of his looks, and his response is a muted version of his normal dramatics, but he tells her, he says ‘Lily, there’s a war on, and you and Prongs have a baby, of course it’s weird’. And for some reason, for some reason this is helpful, and maybe that’s because it’s so true. Their situation is so insane that really_ of course _her life feels strange. She catches herself looking at James often now, while he’s holding Harry, while he’s cooking breakfast, while he’s doing_ anything _, and thinking about how she wants this to play out. She doesn’t want them to fade out, doesn’t want this confinement to hurt their relationship, she doesn’t want this to end (she thinks about this a lot, now, as they are stuck in their house, waiting for death to not be at their door)._

Lily’s curled up on the sofa in front of the fire in the common room, eyes focused on a book when James comes in, the portrait hole opening and shutting and causing a gust of fresh air to blow through the room… or maybe it’s just James. This is what James feels like, smells like; fresh air and warm sunshine. James is like a wild dream, and she imagines it to be so when he leans over the back of the sofa to press a kiss to her cheek, bringing his fresh smell with him.

“Lily, darling, it’s been too long.” He opines, and she rolls her eyes, smiling as she turns to look at him better.

“It’s been 4 hours.” She says, brow arching, “barely.”

James huffs out a dramatic breath, then settles his hip against the back of the couch. “It’s lucky I got back here so quickly, then, or else you’d have forgotten me, don’t deny it.” He says, voice rising a little at the end to stop her from telling him to stop being dramatic, laughter in her eyes, behind her words. “Every moment away is a moment I could be spending with you.” He says.

“Very wise, Mr. Potter, almost philosophical.”

“You wound me, promise you’ll remember me, just like this, when next I’m gone fo-“

Lily laughs loudly, interrupting what was certain to be a long-winded soliloquy, “If you promise not to forget me whilst I sleep overnight.” She says, rolling her eyes. “Is it time for lunch, though, is that why you’re back?” She asks, and he grins, not unhappy at all about being stopped, teased.

“Yeah, come on Lils, can’t skip lunch like you did breakfast, don’t know what kind of boyfriend I’d be if I let you.” He says, standing up and waiting for her to come and meet him on his side of the couch before taking her hand. “I heard there would be pie today.”

“For lunch?” She asks, tilting her head, “and was it passively learned or actively requested?” and James just grins, tapping the side of his nose, eyes twinkling behind his glasses.

“Can’t tell you all my secrets, not just yet.”

 _She tells James, one night while they’re lying in bed and Harry is finally fast asleep, that she wonders when they grew up. He tells her about the day he and his friends confronted Remus about being a werewolf, and when they went through the ludicrous obstacles to becoming animagi, when he saved Severus from a horrible prank (‘that explains_ a lot, _really’)… and then he tells her, voice hushed because it’s nighttime, and the lights are off, and they’re lying in bed.. he tells her about going home after his mother died, and then his father, about them going to dinner with Petunia and Vernon, about walking onto the train at the beginning of 7 th year and already knowing that the world was a darker, more violent place. ‘but it all happened so naturally, Lily’ he said, lying on his side so he could look at her despite his glasses being on the bedside table. ‘and I’ll always remember you as the girl with the fiery red hair, the floral dresses that you tried to pretend you didn’t wear over the summer when you were younger…’ she hits him, playful, and he grins at her. ‘I’ll always remember you as that tall, handsome bloke who was funny _sometimes _and really needed a comb.’ ‘ah, but you thought I was handsome, and that’s all that matters.’_

On Lily’s wedding day, there’s a chair saved for her mother, her father, and her elder sister. Sirius places the vile vase her sister sent her in her seat, and Lily almost laughs aloud when she turns around to face the guests with James’ hand in hers.

They take too many pictures, and the whole day feels like a dream, like something out of some insane fantasy that she would never have believed could come true. She’s never been this happy before, never been this melancholy.

“Friends,” Marlene says, serious but with a smile on her pretty face, “are the family we choose, and Lily I think we chose well.”

She laughs even though she’s crying, and she hugs Marlene close, and then Sirius is stealing her away for a dance, loud and cheerful and insanely ludicrous. She drops her head to his shoulder, fond, and tells him he’s part of the family she _chose_ and he’s more gentle with her when he responds, slowing their dance to a nice sway in place.

“I chose you first.” He says, and it’s teasing, but he’s blushing, and she doesn’t push him for a more _serious_ answer.

When she’s dancing with James, late into the night, she wonders how she got so lucky, but she must have said it out loud, because James smiles at her, pulling back just enough to look at her. “This isn’t luck, Lily, we _chose_ this. We made this happen because it’s what we want.”

_She doesn’t forget these things, not once, and it flashes through her mind as she’s running upstairs, heart in her throat, the love of her life turning to do something foolish. Her friends, her family, everything._

_‘Say you’ll remember me, James, just the way I was before we were forced to stay cooped up in here.’_

_‘Only if you’ll do the same for me, Lily. And don’t forget, darling, that we’ll be out of here soon, I can feel it, it’s not much longer now.’_

 

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly didn't intend for this to end like this, but.... <3


End file.
